The SALT TALK with Jermine Alberty

Make A Difference Day 2025 Part II: Helping Hands, Changing Lives

• Jermine Alberty

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Welcome back to The SALT Talk with Rev. Jermine Alberty. In Part I of this special Make A Difference Day 2025 edition, we celebrated the life and legacy of our beloved mentor, Rosemary Davis Kelly—a woman whose compassion, leadership, and unwavering commitment to service have shaped generations of changemakers. Her example reminds us that making a difference begins with seeing the divine potential in others and nurturing it through love and action.

In Part II, we continue that celebration by shining a light on those who are carrying that same torch forward. Joining us is Dr. Bryan Williams from Houston, Texas—an educator  whose life’s work embodies the very essence of the SALT Model: Service, Affirmation, Love, and Transformation.

Together, we’ll explore how Make A Difference Day 2025 is more than a moment—it’s a movement. It’s a reminder that service transforms both the giver and the receiver, and that small acts of kindness can ripple outward to heal hearts, strengthen communities, and restore hope.

So, take a moment to breathe in the spirit of purpose, and join us as we continue this meaningful conversation with Dr. Bryan Williams on The SALT Talk.

SPEAKER_00:

Hello everybody, welcome back to the Stop Talk with Jermaine Albertine. In part one of this festival Make a Different Day 2025 edition, we honor the legacy of our beloved mentor, Rosemary David Kelly, performing through the spirit of service and unwavering confastic continue to inspire us all to lead with humility, love, and purpose. And now you're tuning in to part two, where we will continue that conversation with my dear friend, Dr. Brian Williams from Houston, Texas, a dynamic leader, educator, and motivator who works and embodies the very essence of the SALT model. This is Drevaine Alberty, and you listen to the SALT Talk. So, welcome back to segment two of the SALT Model and Action. So, Brian, as you know, one of the ways I try to make a difference is through what I call the SALT model, which is service, affirmation, love, and transformation. And it's simple yet deeply transformative. As a framework, what it does is it challenges us to serve with humility, recognizing that true leadership begins with compassion, and then to affirm the worth and dignity of others by reminding people that they are seen and value. For me, love is always something that includes both courage and healthy boundaries, ensuring that our compassion does not deplete us but sustain us to pursue transformation and not just in the world around us, but within ourselves. And so I like to talk about how the salt model should remind us that healing and change starts when we show up fully and live authentically and allow grace to flow through our service. And so service is the heartbeat of Make a Difference Day. It's the rhythm of kindness that moves us to volunteer at a shelter, lend a hand to a neighbor, or simply check in on a friend who's struggling. And so, just like Miss Kelly said, that uh it's not about being a role model but a role motor. Uh, you could talk about love all day long, but service is love in motion. It's that visual expression of compassion and community. And I want to make sure one, that people kind of get an ideal of who you are. First of all, people just jump into questions. They know you're my friend. That's great to know. But tell me a little bit about what you would like folks to know about who is Brian Williams.

SPEAKER_01:

Uh, Brian is a um native of Kansas City, Missouri. I currently live in Houston, Texas. I'm the sixth of nine children to Linda Williams. And as I mentioned previously, um, my mom was a single parent. I uh am an uncle. I'm a brother, uh, I'm a son. Uh professionally, I'm an educator. And so I've been in public education for 27 years. I've been a teacher, assistant principal, principal, and now I serve as uh an assistant superintendent, supporting and coaching and supervising middle and high school principals. And so that's just a little bit about me. Well, I talked to you about professionally, but I'm also uh uh, you know, an avid swimmer, uh avid runner. Uh I enjoy riding my motorcycle, and uh my my passion is kayaking. So a little bit about me.

SPEAKER_00:

So what's amazing is how service followed us throughout uh our careers. You and I worked together as youth coordinators for the Housing Authority of Kansas, Missouri. Uh, and then we went on to continue in just to fill the service. And so it's like it was embedded in us as the youth to serve and never left our DNA. And so the first question I have for you around service is how do you see service showing up in your life now as that educator and leader?

SPEAKER_01:

Well, one of the ways it shows up as an educator and leader is uh one of my leadership styles is servant leadership. And so I make it a point every day I go to work. Uh I think through the lens of how can I make a difference? How can I be a blessing? How can I serve the students, families, and educators that I work with in a way that makes their job a little easier, more effective. How can I remove obstacles and barriers out of their way so that they can provide a great education and experience for students? There's a a former superintendent who I attended, served several of his leadership workshops, and um his name escapes me. I will remember it, but one of the things that he used to do is carry a small spoon in his pocket. And uh as he served as superintendent of a particular school district in Houston, he would go to schools or campuses and pull out the spoon and say, I'm here to serve. And I remember when I first became a principal, one of the teachers who worked for him, his name is Dr. Gordon Anderson. When I first became a principal, one of the teachers that I used to work with who worked for him in the school district said I reminded her of him so much that she wanted to gift me a silver spoon, which I offer this day. And she said, just remember that as you become principal of your school, never forget that you're there to serve because you remind me so much of Dr. Anderson. So I remember my first day at the school where students and families came, I pulled out the spoon and introduced myself. And I said, This spoon represents how I'm gonna lead and how I'm gonna serve you. And I'm here to serve and I'm here to help and I'm here to support. So that's how that shows up.

SPEAKER_00:

Wow. Wow. And you know, one of the things I think that is so important to me is this, and that is we often, when we uh encounter those who serve in the military, we often say, Thank you for your service. And I think that that should be true for educators. We are to thank educators for their service because they give so much day in, day out. Um, and sometimes I believe educators are some of the most underappreciated people who serve in our country. Um, and finding that balance, you know, of being there for the students and for the parents and for the community. Uh, one question I want to ask you is how do you balance that call to serve others with the need to take care of yourself? You said you kayak, uh, you say you you run, and you well, what else do you do and would you encourage other educators to do to take care of themselves?

SPEAKER_01:

I am all about uh mindfulness and balance, work-life balance, and filling your cup. Yes. Uh, so that you can be refreshed and full to serve others. And I partner with another organization to do principal leadership development. And we often talk about resiliency and mindfulness and how it's important to care for yourself. And I remind our educators that, you know, for those who've who've flown in an airplane before, uh, before the flight takes off, flight attendants will always make the announcement in the event of an emergency and the cabin loses pressure, and oxygen masks will drop down.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

If you're with a small child or caring for someone, please make sure to put on your oxygen mask first before you try to assist somebody else. And so I try to use that analogy or that example to remind them that you have to take care of self or you won't be of any good or value to try to take care of others. So what I try to do is um number one, try I try to treat people the way I want to be treated. Uh, I respect people's time away from work and on the weekend. And so I know some people like to send emails, some people like to uh just create stress when people are not at work, but I respect boundaries. Yeah, I like for people to respect my boundaries. Yeah, and so I'm gonna give 100 and 10% while I'm at work. And you know, there are instances where I do have to work outside of work. That's a personal choice, yeah, but I'm not gonna infringe that upon anybody else. So that's the first thing, just respecting boundaries and parameters and understanding that when I'm at work, we're gonna work, but when I'm away from work, uh people are entitled to enjoy their free time and their family. And then secondly, uh you know, I talked about taking care of self and so finding joy in those hobbies and activities that I love doing. I mentioned swimming and I swim every day. I make it an effort after I leave work. Yes, I go swimming, and uh though you know me very well. So sometimes you may call and I'll be back to say I was swimming.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

And then I I wake up in the morning and run. Uh, and then at least twice a month, I make it a go to go on a kayaking trip with uh a couple kayaking groups I'm a part of. I try to have a little bit of wind therapy by riding the motorcycle, but I I just try to do the things that I enjoy doing because those fill my cup, they re-energize me, they help build resilience, and they refresh me.

SPEAKER_00:

And I know folks listening may be kind of wondering, like, oh, he's talking about self-care and and and so forth. And wasn't this episode dedicated to make a difference today? It is. And the reason why we're having this conversation is because so many times people who serve others don't take time to take care of themselves. And so I want to remind individuals that genuine service also requires balance. And if you notice your energy is fading and your patience is thinning or your heart is growing numb, that may be what is called a sign of compassionate fatigue. And I want to make sure that it's really clear that that's not a symptom of weakness, but really it's a signal of faithfulness that needs renewal. So even those who are called to serve, we have to pause, we have to rest, we have to refill because helping hands can only heal when they're whole. And so I think it's so important that we talk about service, that we really are uh make washing out for that compassion fatigue and that we find that balance. So you all know the salt model service is the S, the A is affirmation. And so affirmation is that act of speaking life to others and to yourself. And when we say, I see you and you matter, we create a ripple of healing because affirmation also breaks stigma and it reminds those living with mental health challenges and substance use challenges that they are defined not by their diagnosis, but by dignity. And so it's really important that we affirm people, no matter what their situation may be in this life, disability, but let them know care about them. And uh, what role has affirmation played uh not only in your work, but also in your personal life?

SPEAKER_01:

I just remember growing up uh the role that affirmation played in my life. I had lots of positive role models, mentors. You and I just talked about Miss Kelly and the power of um her life and work in our lives. But there were lots of just amazing people who spoke life and blessing and um saw potential in me, and they they brought those things out of me uh by speaking to the potential that I had and the the gifts and talents that I had. And I remember in college, uh I had a professor, I didn't think I was a good writer. Her name was Dr. Blanche Sloslin, and I had she was my literacy and education teacher. Um, and as an education major, I was an elementary education major. I had to take many literature and literacy classes because I was going to be teaching reading uh as an elementary teacher. And I remember I wrote this paper, didn't think I was a good writer, but she passed the paper back and I got an A on the paper. And she said to me, I'll still never forget how she said it and what she said, she said, Brian, you did an excellent job on your paper, and you have a gift for writing, and nobody had ever told me that. And so that was just an example of her affirming a gift that I didn't know I had, and that actually empowered me to write more. And because I earned an A on that paper, that empowered and motivated me to continue earning A's on assignments, and that motivated me to continue earning A's uh all throughout the rest of my college history, because you know, I was I was an average student, made above average grades, but I didn't really apply myself because you know I did enough to get by, and I still made great grades, but when I encountered and entered college, uh I had to I had to really work hard. So I had to really earn those grades.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

But as a recipient of people speaking life and affirmation and blessing over me, I try to extend that to others. I try to extend that to students and parents and teachers and leaders that I serve. And here's the hard part of my job as a as a principal supervisor. Um my job is to give feedback.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

And there is adjusting or constructive feedback where there's something that has to change, and then there's positive feedback. And then the nature of my role is I have to give lots of feedback, and sometimes the feedback is very constructive and critical. And whenever I make that feedback, that's a withdrawal. So because of the nature of my role, I always try to look and be intentional, intentional about making deposits, which are words of affirmation, because I know eventually I'm gonna have to make some withdrawals. And the withdrawals are uh the withdrawals are you not anything that that tries to damage or discredit somebody, but it's more meant to coach them up and to grow them. Um, and that that's my role and responsibility. So how the affirmation plays out in the workplace, I just really try to be intentional and understand that words have power. Yeah, they can they can either build others up or tear others down. And I I try to be careful with my words and how I use my words, but I also am intentional, intentional about ensuring that I speak uh blessing, words that that provide healing, that provide life, and that make deposits into the lives of people.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, one of the things I know that um I truly um clean from my mentors and those adults in my life, and research tells us that you know having a caring adult in the life of a young person can be one of the greatest protective factors that could alleviate uh some of those risk factors that they encounter. And one of the things as adults that we can do for young people is just let them know that they're love, and so um L and the salt model is love. And so what we know uh is love is more than just an emotion, uh, but the love is actually an act. And so love is compassion and emotion, and so it's not only what you do, but how you do it, and doing it with patience and grace and understanding is so important. And then love shows up when we are able to uh step back and let others step back, and love also knows when to pause. And so when we care for our own mind and soul, then we are modeling what I would consider healthy love for those that we help. Uh I'm a national trainer for a program called Mental Health First Aid. And in Mental Health First Aid, we say that self-care is not selfish. Um, and what it really truly is is stewardship. And being men, one question that I would be curious to hear your answer is how do men in particular show love without feeling weak or vulnerable?

SPEAKER_01:

Well, I don't profess to know the answer to that. I'm still learning how to show love. Uh I'll answer it in this way. Growing up in a family of nine with a single mind, my mom was not very affectionate. And I love you was not a phrase that we often heard. We understood we were loved, and my mom provided for us to demonstrate her love to us, and she sent us to really great schools, provided a private education for us, and you know, she did her part in fulfilling her responsibility as a mom, but we didn't I didn't grow up in a very affectionate family. So this is an area where I'm still learning about, but as a man, how do I show love? Uh, number one, I you know, I I try to I I'm a man of faith, as you know, and so I try to put my faith into practice. And I remember a conversation that you know an individual had with Christ about, you know, what was the greatest commandment? And Jesus' response was, Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength, and then love your neighbor as yourself. So as I think about those two commandments, I try to live out my faith by loving my creator, but then also loving my fellow neighbor in a way where I'm I'm accepting of my neighbor. Um I try to demonstrate acts of kindness and grace towards my neighbor. As a recipient of unconditional love, grace, and forgiveness, I try to extend that unconditional love, grace, and forgiveness. Um I also try to show love by being someone who's dependable and reliable. If I commit to doing something or say I'm gonna do something, I I do my best to try to honor my word. And then I'm reading this book called One Month to Live. You actually should be reading it with me because you've yes you purchased it. And I'm on day I'm on day 22. And uh in today's chapter, it really talked about being honest and truthful with people, yeah, and that if we really loved people the way we say we do, we would be honest with them and not try, and the chapter dealt with just being a person of integrity and not lying, but just being truthful and honest with people and upfront. And uh the author of that book, the authors of that book, Chris and Carrie Shook, wrote that several years ago, but I just picked it up. But it's ironic that you asked this question about love, and that was one of the highlights from the chapter today. I read just being truthful and honest, and in your truthfulness and honesty, doing that in a loving, gracious way. Where you're trying to help somebody, yeah, um, and not tear people down. So I think that's how I try to live out and allow love to manifest itself as a man in my life.

SPEAKER_00:

Haven't completely figured it out, but well, yeah, and I see I asked that question only because as men, you and I do this a lot for one another. Um, and that is one, we are able to trust each other with our emotions.

unknown:

Yep.

SPEAKER_00:

And so I don't feel my vulnerability and sharing uh what's going on in my life to you as exposure, but really that I can trust you. Yeah. So when a man allows someone to see their heart, uh their fears, their hopes, their gratitudes, then that invites uh respect and even a sense of intimacy. Uh, because vulnerability is not weakness, it's really courage. Yep. And so I think being able to um truly draw on our faith, we know that love aligns with divine strength. The scripture tells us that love is patient, love is kind, love is enduring. None of those things are weaknesses. Um, and we both believe that basically love reflects God's image within us. So I think that the way we can share with men, hey, don't feel weak, don't feel vulnerable, is understand, just embody confidence and embody compassion to know that when we're able to open up to other young men and let them know, hey man, I've been there. I've been there, you know, um, and you're not alone in this. That vulnerability uh is a way of showing love to them to say, we're gonna save you from having to go through that headache if you're willing to listen to what we have to share with you. And that's when transformation happens. That final T is transformation because transformation happens when service, affirmation, and love work together. It's when we as a community move from reaction to resilience. And I think it's so important that we point out that transformation isn't instant, it's intentional, and it begins in each of us. So uh I want to ask you a personal question, and that is how has our friendship over the years sharpened or transformed you?

SPEAKER_01:

Well, when I think of that, that sharpen as iron sharpens iron, that's a bird verse in the Bible. So man sharpens another man, and so when I think about our friendship, um you and I, you know, have had a great friendship for I'll probably say it goes above great, but phenomenal friendship for over 25, probably is it 30 years?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh, it's probably past 30 years.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, so I'll just say more than 30.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, 30 plus years. And um we've been able to spar with one another. We don't always agree.

SPEAKER_00:

Right.

SPEAKER_01:

We don't um, you know, sometimes we talk several times a week, sometimes weeks pass, yeah. Uh, but we're able to to pick up where we left off. Um there are times where I'm in need and you're able to help out, or you're in need and I'm able to help help out. Yeah, um we don't we don't judge one another. You talked about sharing emotions, you know, we're able to share emotions and our hearts with one another. And um in the book I I just mentioned about you know, one month to live, um the author said, You know who your friends are when you are going through a difficult time, such as the death of a loved one or an illness or sickness, and then you look around and see who is near who's near you, who's standing by. Yeah, that's a sign of your true friends in those those dark moments, and you've been there uh through some dark moments uh in my life, and so you know I think I we we try to reciprocate the friendship, yeah. And um you probably do it more often than I do. You you definitely reach out and make a lot a lot more deposits, and uh I appreciate that that motivates me to try to to step up and and do it even more. So I think uh to to if I can if I can sum up the transformation of the friendship, I think you and I have developed accountability to one another, where you can call me out on some things and I can call you out on some things, and we can hold each other accountable, and we have maintained that 30 plus friendship uh for I mean forever, and we have not allowed anything to get in the way of that friendship or to hinder it, not distance. You live in Vegas, I live in Houston. Yeah, um when I moved to Houston, you had moved away to uh St. Louis and then Columbia. So distance hasn't been anything that has taken away from our our friendship. Um, you know, life circumstances hasn't been an impediment to our friendship. I don't think we've let anything get in the way of our friendship.

SPEAKER_00:

So my friends, as my friends, we go into segment three of this podcast, is really um dedicated to caring for self and uh cultivating connection. And I'm so happy that we became friends so many years ago, 30 plus years. We've helped each other along the way, as you said. We shared things that the only two of us uh ever will know. And we've been helpers to one another, as you said. And you know, I think it's so important to talk about the human side of helping and the inner life of the helper, because service connects us, but research shows we thrive not just on access service, but on relationships that sustain us. And uh, there's no perfect number of friends in social science research reminds us that the layers of friendship play a critical role in our mental health. And uh, and so evolutionary psychologist Robin Dunbar proposed what's known as the Dunbar number. And the ideal is that humans can maintain about 150 stable relationships, and inside that circle are smaller rings. So five people uh basically are your support click, those are the intimate ties who receive about 40% of your emotional energy, and I would say you are one of my five people for sure, and then 15 people are your good friends and those who you can count on a crisis. I don't think I have 15 people I can count on a crisis. I think 50 people are your general friends, which are have meaningful but lighter ties, and then uh uh uh Dunbar says that 150 people is that broader community of people that you know well enough to greet and engage authentically, and so you know, on social media, of course, this has expanded. People have you know, thousands of people who you know become friends on on Facebook some more, so forth. But research tells us a few research studies said that most US adults have one to four close friends, and having just three to five close friends strongly correlates with better mental health and less loneliness. And so uh I think it's so important that as we talk about make a difference day, that we really point out the importance of connection because sometimes people are just doers and don't take care of themselves. And so when we are serving and building community, we need to check in on each other, and we do that often. Uh, as you said, sometimes it'd be a few weeks where we check back in, but healthy friendships protect us from isolation, they it sustain our resilience and it reduces compassion fatigue. So I just think it's so important that we have those core relationships that we can use to recharge our emotional battery. And I'm grateful that you're part of that inner circle. And so as we wrap up, um, I really want to make sure that I just do things that I want to encourage people to do, and that is one set those healthy boundaries so it's okay to say no. So your yes stays meaningful. We want to rest on. On purpose, which means we schedule recovery as intentionally as service. Uh, we want to stay connected, so find community with other helpers that support, keep us grounded. And then lastly, we want to reflect and we want to release and take five minutes after a day of service to pray, to journal, uh, or to breathe. So, my friend, I have one final question I want to ask you because I know in the film education uh administrators and teachers and other staff members, burnout is really something that can happen a lot. And um, also not only burnout, but then experiencing secondary trauma. And so, compassion fatigue is both when one experiences both burnout and secondary trauma. And what happens is it impacts their compassion toward the work they do. So, what advice would you give to leaders, to students, uh teachers who are at that point where they're just kind of burnt out? And what kind what kind of advice would you give that person?

SPEAKER_01:

Well, when I when I think about that, um a couple things come to mind. Number one, I think the ability, and you mentioned this to press pause. And I think it's okay to press pause and get away for you know a period of time where you can be refreshed and renewed and restored in whatever form that is for you. For me, um we mentioned swimming, my my water therapy, the wind therapy, riding my motorcycle, jogging, um, finding something that I enjoy doing that allows me to fill my cup and the ability to press pause to do that. Secondly, sometimes um thinking about you know, I know this this segment is all about or the theme of of today's podcast is about service. Sometimes just looking for ways and opportunities to be a blessing or to meet the need of somebody else. And as you're meeting that need of somebody else, it will remind you of how blessed uh you truly are and how blessed I'm truly am. And um hopefully that would rekindle and develop a spirit of gratitude that we do have a lot to be grateful for.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

And sometimes we consume ourselves with what we don't have, or we make comparisons uh with others um in regards to what they have that we don't, but really just being grateful for what we do have. And I think I I I guess that would be my my advice. Look for ways to express gratitude for what you do have, and then finding a way to meet the need of somebody else, because then it will remind you of you know all the blessings and all the things that you have that others may not have. So that those would be my two pieces of pieces of advice.

SPEAKER_00:

Man, thanks for sharing that. And I want to encourage everybody just to learn how to breathe. You know, inhale deeply sometimes, and then learn how to just exhale, you know. So just inhale and exhale, and and then say to yourself this when you feel yourself at that point where you just want to throw in the towel. I can serve with compassion without losing myself in the process. I can serve with compassion without losing myself in the process. Because you can't be the difference for others if you're disconnected from yourself. So as we close, I reminded of that teenage boy in the Opticon Club, the one who just wanted to help people, and how those small acts of service shaped a lifetime of purpose. And 30 years later, two grown men, uh, that spirit continues to grow, not just in me, but in those who stood uh beside me. And so my brother, uh Dr. Brian Williams, is a living reminder that iron truly sharpens iron and that real brotherhood is something that you can uh obtain and maintain. Uh, and so uh our brotherhood is a ministry all of its own. And so I would like to just offer a final word uh that uh with regards to make a difference day, and that is I want to invite you to be sought. What does that mean? I want to invite you to serve for the military, I want to invite you to affirm others and yourself. I want you to love deeply but wisely, and I want to transform your community to consistency and care. And before I wrap up, uh Brian, you want to say one last thing that could maybe inspire others?

SPEAKER_01:

I'm gonna say two last things, and I'm glad you give this opportunity. Go for it. Yes, because you're seeing the service, two of my favorite quotes, one from Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., where he states everybody can be great because everybody can serve. Yes. And then Marion Wright Elderman was often quoted with saying, service is the rent that we pay for living on earth.

SPEAKER_00:

My goodness. My goodness. Well, listen, as you go, remember, helping hands must also be healing. If you start to feel worried, pause, and we feel because capacity fatigue isn't a sign to quit, it's an invitation to rest and renew. I'm Jermaine Alberty, and this has been the Thought Talk, where we season life with service, affirmation, love, and transformation. Until next time, keep making a difference and keep being a difference.

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Jermine Alberty

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